Monday, November 29, 2010

It's Hard to Come Home

Mr's house is pretty awesome.  I like being there......a lot.  Thursday evening, for example, I didn't have the intention of going there after being in Dayton Wednesday night and all day Thursday.....but then, driving home and chatting on the phone, I found my self getting off onto 275 West instead of staying on 75.  The plan was to get up Friday and clean clean clean so that I wouldn't have to worry about the condition of my house the rest of the weekend.  Nope.  With Parker having fallen asleep in the back seat, it was hard to resist and then when he was telling me about his dissatisfying Thanksgiving dinners, I felt compelled to share my delicious leftovers immediately and he agreed with the thought.  So mr's is where we ended up.  Of course I came home early on Friday and accomplished about 85% of what I wanted to do and then it was time for the downtown tree lighting and ice skating......that is right.....I went ice skating.  Now I am sure that most can imagine me to be as graceful as a swan, but I am not.  Ofter my father says that I am like a bull through a China shop.  I was concerned that Parker was going to inherit my natural "talent" and since I didn't want to possibly pull Parker down when I fell, I elected mr to skate with Parker.  Mr was all like, "I haven't went ice skating in 15 years!  I may pull him down with me!"  So I got to thinking, maybe mr will suck as bad as me, we will skate wobbled kneed together and let Parker steal the show!  I rented skates too.  For some people it doesn't matter if it has been 15 years since they went skating, when you are good at it, it stays with you......that was mr. (grrrrrrr) 

Parker did great, he fell a lot, but was determined to be good at it so the falling didn't bother him.  The tree was beautiful, the hot chocolate was delicious, the kettle corn was fresh and warm, the fireworks between high-rise buildings is always a bizarre delight, but it was ridiculously cold out.  The fountain was frozen!  There weren't as many people this year as before so when we were done, we were done.

The rest of the weekend wasn't out of the ordinary except for the fact that we spent it entirely together.  The three of us.  This is a first, and I am not going to read too far into it or project anything upon it besides how lovely it was.  We helped clean, Parker helped build a shelf, the two of them fixed their hair alike, we hit up Kroger, and when it was warmer out, Parker helped chop a huge amount of firewood to bring inside.  (They made me help too, first time I have ever used an ax and the piece of wood chopped and then rolled into my shin.....yes, I bruised immediately).  I didn't want to leave.  I was content.  I was just being, instead of thinking about what was going to happen next or what the meaning of my feelings are and how to handle Parker's behavior, I was there and happy and enjoying every moment.  Those feelings are hard to leave.  But it was necessary.  Again, it was a Sunday night of back to reality.  But my realities are starting to confuse me.  There is my reality here that is just Parker and I and work and school.  Then there is the reality of mr and spending time with him and Parker and spending time with just he and I.

 It was nice being here along with Parker though.  We had a spat when we got home but things turned around, he had a nice long bath, a nice little dinner and then completed 3 pages in his workbook.  I told him I would help him, but he really didn't need me next to him.  He wrote and read the sentences without assistance.  He is a wonder to me.

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