Thinking back over the past year I have realized that it was a good year. There were obviously some low light, like my store closing in June, Parker's dad making himself more scarce, and normal parenting ups and downs, but this year has been so different than years in the past. It has been a long while since I can remember consistently feeling happy with the direction of my life. As sad as it is to say, even the year and following year after Parker was born, I was not happy. I had happy times, but I was finishing college, living at home, learning that I would be healthier if I ended my relationship with Parker's dad and then starting a new job. It was very turbulent......for a long time. Once I moved here, life changed but it was still turbulent. This past year, I entered it knowing that being single was fine, knowing that I can handle my life as a single working mother and setting side the expectations that another person would enter my life to make me happy. Hmm...that last statement sounds kinda harsh, I mean that I realized my happiness was up to me, not another person turning on the switch. That was my resolution last year, to be on my own and to be okay with it, I didn't try to date everyone that asked me out like the year prior, I was picky. I think this may have been one of my favorite years, despite the bad that did happen. I have been successful this year. I have moved to a more profitable store with the intention of making it grow more than it already has. Although there have been many challenges on the Mommy front, I feel like I can handle a 5 year old, attitude and all. And my personal life, I have regained a friend that was dear to me last year, I have met and become friends with many interesting characters through work and mr has entered my life. I am happy right now. I am cynical, as you know, so I am not expecting it to last too long, but what a great way to start another year! I don't think I have ever ended a year without a big "Fuck You" to it.
I would like to say that I am off to a big party to supplement my joy for 2010, but I am home with Parker....just the two of us watching Bambie. My heart is with mr tonight though. I didn't think that it would bother me to be without him tonight and then it started to. It is just another night and it isn't uncommon for me to be at home with Parker (you try to get a babysitter on New Year's....it's effing hard), but this is the first year for a LONG time that I have had someone that I want to kiss at midnight. Oh well, life as a single mom right? So we will enjoy our movie and hope to stay awake past midnight.
I hope that everyone has a wonderful and safe night. Here's to 2011, I hope you are a wonderful as 2010!