Tuesday, July 12, 2011

The Destroyer

If you don't already know Lauren Moyer, you should.  She is this amazing artist who is not only talented with a brush and canvas but her artisticness (I think I made that word up) goes much further.  Lauren has her own fashion blog....let me tell you, I have been jealous of the different looks that she can pull off for years now.  But she can also sew, crochet and design her own clothes or art.  She has mixed needlepoint with her painting and has made these cute little stuffed owls (I am still waiting on mine, I think they are back ordered).  She has so many talents that go beyond her art to cooking, writing, bike riding for hours and hours, training her dog, listening, giving advice, and making you view the world a little differently.  I have said before that I wish I could see what the world looks like through her eyes with her talent just for a day so that I can better understand her.  We have had our dfferences over the past 25 years but we are in a place of friendship and appriciation for each other now, well, at least that is how I view our relationship and I hope that she agrees.

Lauren is on the precipice of one of the most profound journey's she will ever embark.  She is soon moving from Detriot, her home for the past 7 years, to live in Ohio for a month before moving to San Fransisco.  Lauren is no stranger to moving far away from home; when she was 17 she moved to Brasil to study abroad for 6 months.  It was hard on her at first, but it helped her grow as a person so much that I can't image who she would be if she hadn't gone.  This voyage is different though, she is not leaving for a temporary 6 month stent, but to live, work and to thrive on the west coast.  It is a bittersweet journey as well.  She imagined doing this with her ex-fiance one day......but note the word "ex."  Like many have told her already, and I will not spend much time on this, but it is completely his loss in life because of how amazing Lauren is and because she does have this drive to go beyond what is safe for her in Detroit, he could not see beyond his safety net and was too cowardly to take the step that Lauren in about to take.  Unlike him, Lauren is brave.  She is much braver than she knows which is frustrating but exciting.  I get frustrated because I can see it in her.  I can see her success.  I can see her finding out so much about herself that she doesn't know is there.  But she can't see it yet.  It is exciting because she will and she will call me and tell me all about what she is doing out there and how challenging it is but how she is over coming those challenges.  She will tell about the people she is meeting and how she is finding her niche through old friends who are already there and the new friends that keep her going.  She will change.  She will grow.  She will find a strength inside that she has never had to use.

Maybe that is the part that excites me the most.  We Moyer girls are very independent individuals.  There is no way to argue that point at all.  It is the environment that we grew up in but we have all expressed it differently.  Lauren has shown it through her ability and willingness to travel.  While she and Jen both went to school outside the state, she is the only one who has moved away from Ohio.  That has been her independance.  She had been in a relationship for 5 years and when anyone is in a relationship for an extended amount of time, they grow dependant on the other person, which is natural.  She has been living alone for months now and has been successful.  Living by yourself is difficult, but it is a huge learning process.  You discover when you need to ask for help and when you need to push yourself to figure it out on your own.  She is doing it well in Detroit but will get even better at it when she is in California.

I told her recently that I can't wait to meet her again in a year.  It may sound silly because at her core, she has been the same since she was a little girl, but she will be so different in so many ways in one year that I can't wait to remeet my little sister.  She will have survived the move, the job search, the heartache for home and the Eastern time zone.  She will be beyond the initial "glam" of California and find her self in everyday life out there.  Her life will be there and I will be waiting to hear from her every time she calls.

Writing this about her is the first time that I have really truly thought about her moving across the country.  Yes, she has been in Michigan for years and years now and we don't see each other often as is, but we are in the same time zone.  We really don't talk on the phone much either, but there is something secure about know that your sister is waking up, eating lunch and dinner around the same time as you.  The climate is not terribly different between Ohio and Michigan either.  It is cooler up there, but summer here is summer there and so on and so forth.  I know I will miss her more once she is there.  Our birthdays will be harder this year.  I hated hers being the day before mine for so long but since we have lived away from each other, it doesn't feel like my birthday without celebrating hers at the same time.  I will miss her.  Ohio has missed her for some time but now Michigan will miss her as well.  I can't and won't be sad for too long thought because of how much this will influence her life.  I am too proud of her to be sad for too long.  I am too excited.  I am too envious of her to be sad.  She is doing something that I have always (since the age of 24), dreamed of doing.

Lauren, you are and always will be amazing.  You will have hard times but they will lessen with the amount of time you are there.  It will get easier and you will get stronger.  Everyday you will discover something new within your self.  You will find a job and you will make more beautiful art.  California called on you for your art before and they will call on you for more.  You will fall in love with that side of the world and although Ohio will always be home and the heart of it all, it is too small for you.  You need bigger.  You need more from a State and section of the country.  Never doubt yourself and your ability.  I love you and believe in you.  If you ever need a Lauren Pep Talk, you know who to call.  I am proud of you. 

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