Wednesday, September 8, 2010

One of those days

You know those days that you have that just shouldn't exist? It's not that something tragic has happened or really anything bad, but at the end of the day you have that, "what was the point of today?" feeling. Again, not whoa-is-me kinda crap, but you wonder what the life lesson was and why you needed it. Needless to say, that was my day. Slow at first and smooth. Nothing was wrong, I got a cute little morning text from mr, made a date for tomorrow, sliced salami and a bunch of ham before we opened....truly a smooth and successful morning and early afternoon. My phone rang a couple times and then there was the inevitable voice mail, "Hi, this is the nurse at Winton Montessori, Parker threw up."

Arg!!! I hate that call!! In the past I have contemplated not calling back until they call the er contacts! So the next inevitable thing happens, I go get him and then he stays at work with me. Whenever this happens I never leave work on time either, I am there way later than I need/should be, like today we left at 6pm. That is just stupid. Meanwhile, he was present and misbehaving while I had a manager meeting, while 50 new UC students came in, while I was still prepping for on and so forth. Did I mention how unbelievably awful his behavior was today? Granted he was bored but he was fine too. For 4 hours I was completely stressed out and not able to actually focus on work or Parker... which of course makes me feel like I have failed at both mothering and my job.

It would be a perfect day to come home to "that" person. The one that will listen to you bitch and moan about your day to the point where they just make you laugh about it. Listen and bitch with you until you realize that it is over and it is time to let it go. Sometimes you need another person to tell you to let it go and that it doesn't really matter before you can actually do just that. When you don't have a release, all the stresses tend to fester inside and stay on you brain all night. And now, because of mr existing in my life, I wonder if he is that person for me. Like I have stately recently though, it is too soon to talk about him too much. But it is fun to wonder about the possibility of a future, even when my cynicism and realistic mind tells me not to.

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