Saturday, February 19, 2011

Day 10-Something you're afraid of

I am afraid of not finding a partner in crime.  This fear is heightened right now because of my recent break up with mr, but it has scared me the entire time I have been single.  I fear that I will never find that complimentary, my other half, soul mate, best friend, my weirdo.  It scares me.  And again, right now I am thinking about it more than I have in a long time because I am out of the first substantial relationship that I have had as an adult.  It was great.  I never thought of my self as a relationship person because so many people from my past have told me that I am "too independent"....isn't that kind of good?  But I won't dwell on that part.  I figured out life with just Parker and I.....although I wasn't rainbows and sunshine all the was good.  But recently, I have had that and the extra......god damn the extra was good.  Sharing with someone, putting Parker to bed and staying up with someone to watch tv or to just talk or just hold each other.  Having weekend plans or planning what our weekend was going to be.....just having the extra.  Not making all the decisions.  Not being the only adult.  I loved it.  I am still surprised I did so much, I was content with the idea of always being single.  Now I am back to where I was before except I am lacking the extra that was oh so great.......and now I have the fear of not finding it again.

1 comment:

  1. It is hard, I know. I also know that you are an amazing and gorgeous woman. It will happen!