I've been sitting here passing moments trying to narrow down everything that I am looking forward to....it is too long of a list. Buying a house, Parker getting his first all "A's" report card, going to Gatlinburg in March, teaching Parker to drive, meeting his first girlfriend, meeting my next boyfriend, watching Sadie learn how to walk.....basically the rest of my life is what I am looking forward to; I have a lot of living to do, both good and bad times lie around the bend, and although I will not enjoy the bad times, I welcome both. Not everything is rosey but those bad times are the ones that we grow from, learn from, and take steps away from as a better, stronger, wiser person. I have heard things like this told to me a lot since the beginning of Feburary....right now is a learning and growing time for me.
But beyond the good and bad in my life that I am looking forward to, it is all those things that I am looking forward to in Parker's life. I don't want the bad to happen to him and it will be one of the biggest challenges in my life to not make the bad go away. What mom doesn't want that for their child (even though I just clearly stated that it is part of life and the bad can be positive....ha! It's okay for me but not for him....the cycle of parenthood). As much of my life I have to live, I get to be one of the main actors in his....I get to experience some of the same things from my life through his. I get to be the parent on the sideline instead of the child on the field. All of the development that he has left in his life, I have gone through (similarly at least) and will get to experience in a different way. It's exciting to think about all of the firsts that he has in his life and how I will be able to introduce him to some, wipe away his tears from others, and be told stories of more of his firsts than witness. I look forward to all of these things.