Waiting

Today was spent waiting. Waiting for something to happen that I know will never happen again. Every time I looked at my phone I was disappointed. Half my brain said, "you are a moron, stop checking, you know there is nothing there and there won't be."  The other half kept saying, "check your phone...you never know! (in a hopeful manner)."  I hate that half of my brain, i would like to punch it.  Today I was stuck on what was a routine.  Tomorrow I think I will have to move my right foot.  Then Wednesday my left.  Maybe by Thursday I will be able to start my way from where I am right now.  This place that I am now is an awful place.  I can't talk about it without crying and feeling like a fool.  Tomorrow I will not cry.  And Wednesday I will not feel like a fool.