Loneliness

Feeling lonely is not fun.  Parker is normally here to keep me company but he is with his Grandparents until Wednesday when we leave for our fist solo vacation to Tennessee.  Even when he is here though, I am starting to feel lonely.  I am back to my routine of staying up too late, watching too many movies and wanting to have someone to call.  I remember last year around this time being content with life and not allowing myself to feel lonely.  I want to get back to that place but I don't know how right now.  I know I am strong and resilient but it seems too far away right now to know that I will get back there.  I don't want to be the kind of parent that depends on my child to not be lonely but right now I wish he was here.