I am presented with a dilemma that I had once before; should I step up and become the "coach" or leader of the group Parker is involved in, or should I be the best effin assistant ever. I did this before in soccer and t-ball. I didn't step up in soccer even though I felt that inner need to, and I did in t-ball, as an assistant although I ended up being present more than the head coach. So here it is again. Parker is part of a new Tiger Cub Scout group that has no Den Leader because we are all new. And here I am. I know I could do it because I have noticed in my life that I have always either chosen or have been chosen for leadership positions (volleyball captain, field commander, PIC, GM....) The lucky part of this scenario is that I happen to know another parent of another Tiger Cub. He was the assistant coach of Parker's first soccer team. He is having the same dilemma as me. I would totally co-Den Lead with him, he is cool, his kids are cool, his wife is cool, and they probably have a bigger house than me. So now I have to talk through it.
Why I want to:
It is something that I have never done before and I like a new challenge. It is also really fun for me to be that involved in whatever it is Parker is doing. It is more hands on in his life and I will only get so much of that before he doesn't want me involved. It would also be good because he doesn't have the "father figure" that Boy Scouts really is designed for, not that I am a complete replacement of that relationship but still, my involvement would be important to him.
Why I am on the fence:
The commitment. I work about 55 hours a week, run a household, mother a 6 year old and sustain a very close relationship with mr. That may only look like 4 things on a list but when you think about the amount of time that I dedicate to each of those 4 things, that is more time than I actually have to commit. I don't know that I would be able to make every den meeting if something came up at work or with mr. I know that if something happened with Parker, there would be a reschedule, but life has thrown so many curve balls at me that I expect them most of the time which makes a new commitment a challenge. Even just hearing about all the things that we will be doing once a month sounds like so much being added to my plate, to have to organize the meetings each month instead of just helping with them kind of makes my head hurt. Unfortunately I know how I am. I naturally fit into being the boss and if I am not, I tend to think that I could run/do things better. If, for some reason, the Den Leader would not be open to outside ideas or suggestions or communication of any kind, then my head could explode in one of the meeting. And I also wonder if Parker would want me to be that involved. Maybe he does need his space and although I will be at all of the meetings, maybe it would be better for him that I wasn't in charge of Cub Scouts like I am in charge of the majority of his life.
So there I am. Every reason why I want to cancels out every reason why I don't want to. Maybe I should just volunteer to assist and hold meetings here every other month. But is a part time commitment to this a good idea? Ugh.