Monday, October 22, 2012

A New Name

It's close upon us......the end is near........hold on to your loved ones because the other side of the hill is fast approaching.....that's one month I will be........30!!!!!!!!  Run fast and away from this travesty!!!!

30.....jeeze, when did I get so old?  Well, I mean, in a month, when did I get so old?  I'm not really fearful of it, but it does stop to make me think and reflect.  Like, 20 years ago.....I made the biggest deal out of turning The Big 1-0.  Seriously, ask anyone in my family....I made a BIG deal out of it.  It was just 10 though.  I mean, yea it's pretty important when you finally reach the double digits, but I went a little overboard.  Ten years ago, when I turned 20.....I honestly don't really remember what I did.  Shockingly though, I do remember my 21st birthday because my best friends threw me a Blue's Clues themed birthday.  It was great.  I got my own Handy Dandy Notebook and all.....wait maybe that was my 20th birthday.....crap!  I'm getting so old I can't even remember ten years ago!

I never really thought of turning 30 so I don't know that I am upset with where I am in life....I would like to have a little more student loan debt paid off by now and it would be nice to not have the pay check to pay check kind of life style, but then again....I had my son at 22, graduated college at 24 and worked at the same restaurant from 20 to 29 and then started a new career at 29.  I can't expect a money making miracle to come out of the past ten years.....especially with the way that RP eats.  I'm surprised we have money left for clothes! 

This is totally lame, but my biggest problem with turning 30 is the fact that I will have to change my blog sub title......A Day in the Life: The View from a Sarcastic, In a Relationship but Not Married 30ish Mom......that just doesn't sound as appealing, what do you think?

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

*Warning* This is a rant. Please do not adjust your screen, this is only a rant

Tonight is the second Presidential Debate......I should really watch that.  I know I should, even though it really is a dance and pony show, I should be more informed to it.  I still have to watch the first one.  And I'm going to....I swear.  I know that my life will be affected if either of them are elected but trying to figure out how to keep my son from acting up in school seems more important to me at this moment.  I don't know what to do anymore.

Last week he told me that an older girl in the morning Y program was being mean to him.  Although I have spoken to the lady in charge on site, the director of the program still has not called me back (I left the first voicemail for her on Friday).  So while this is in progress of resolution, his teacher also emails me on Friday that he has teased the same new kid in his class more than once.......not a great email to read on your lunch break, kind of is distracting for the rest of the day.  After school we sit down and hash it out.  He is angry for being teased and teased another kid.  He is angry because he doesn't feel like he can tell the grown ups at his school to take care of any one teasing him.  He is angry.  Naming feelings and relating them to his behavior is something that he struggles to do.  But, he is angry.  I don't blame him.  My method of managing the situation was what I was taught.  You walk away and if that doesn't work, you tell a grown up.  What the hell was I thinking?!  He can't advocate for himself!  He is 7 for fuck's sake!!!  And now he is acting out his anger instead of naming it.  So now I am my self.

Although he doesn't believe it, he is lucky to have the teacher he does.  She cares about him.  She looks out for him.  She communicates with me about his behavior when it's needed.  Yesterday she responded to my very long winded email from the Friday night hash out.  She gave some great advice and told me that RP was making a very real effort to befriend the boy he had teased.

Then today, the more typical email from her.....RP has disrupted lesson.....again.  He was making silly faces at other child to make them laugh.  As previously written about, this acting out has become quite normal for RP.  He saw a counselor last year to help develop his self control and he has started the same counseling program this year.  Him getting in trouble for goofing off is so irritating!  It isn't that bad, I mean, it's not like he is punching other kids or destroying property, but he is still impeding on the education of others around him. 

We have a sticker on the calender system in our house.  He gets solid face stickers for having a good day at school and glitter face stickers for having a good evening and bedtime.  He is allowed to "cash" in x amount of solid face stickers for a prize from the pumpkin bucket and the same for the glitter face stickers or he is allowed to save them throughout the month and get one big prize.  Then we start over the next month.  It's been working pretty well.  He tells me when I pick him up from school if he deserves a solid face sticker for that day.  Even when I haven't received an email about behavior, he will fess up to having a verbal warning once that day and he understands, that means no sticker.  He also knows that when he doesn't get a sticker for the school day that it means he has an evening privelage taken away.  He is aware of the consequences at home but it doesn't prevent anything!  It is so frustrating!!!!!  Why won't it click for him yet!  His teacher is very understanding and caring, and I count my lucky starts that he is in montessori where he will have her until the end of third grade, but just because she is patient and works with him doesn't mean that his future teacher will be so willing.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

The Pretty Blue Box

I have this earring box.  It is blue and it is pretty.  I got the earring box about 18 months ago.  Inside lived my beautiful diamond earrings that are a signature of my everyday life.  So this pretty blue box has had no purpose in life since the diamond earrings have become a fixture in my ears. 

Last Thursday night, RP and I are brushing our teeth.  He reaches up in the cabinet to put his toothbrush away and notices the pretty blue earring box.  Mind you, this box has been in the cabinet, next to our tooth brush cup for quite some time.  He has always liked it, but has never really asked me about it until Thursday.  Of course he asks if he can have it.  I explain to him that no, he can not because if I ever need a place to put my earrings, they need their box.  And of course he asked why I can't use a different box.  I tell him that I don't have a different box because the diamond earrings are the only earrings that I have.  Again, that is not satisfactory for him and he asks again if he can have the box.  Trying to change the course of the conversation, I ask him why he wants my earring box.  *Looking back at the convseration I really wish there was something hilarious to insert here, but there is not.* He did have a real reason, just that he wants it.  So again, I told him no and to move the conversation along to completion, I told him that maybe one day if I ever have another pair of earrings and an earring box, I would consider giving the pretty blue one to him.

So the weekend moves on....we camp out in the cold cold wet wet rain on Friday.  Do Cub Scout stuf related to the camping out on Saturday morning.  Go to Dayton, I come back to Cincy solo because MR and I had a beautiful wedding to attend were I may have had one too many Vodka and Cranberry.  Sunday we each lunch with my long-lost-only-in-Cincinnati-for-one-day Mandy and her boyfriend *who I think is great*.  Try to get my new iPhone 5 *which failed* and take a nap and then head to Cub Scouts where RP is being dropped off by my father.

Naturally they are late.  What is odd though is that my father and step mother stay for the meeting....weird.  So after the meeting we are saying our good byes in the parking lot, and suddenly Parker holds a pretty gold box with a ribbon tied around it up to me.  My dad said something about this being my birthday present and quickly RP and my step mom correct him.  According to RP, it isn't a birthday present, it is just a regular present.  So I open it, and inside are these.....

Because I am who I am and I think the way that I think, my first reaction was, he got me a pair of earrings so he could get the pretty blue box!!!!!  Then my second reaction was, that is so sweet that my little boy wanted to get me a pair of earrings so that he could have the pretty blue box.  My third reaction was pretty much the same, but regardless of all that, I was very surprised and touched that my son voiced something that he wanted to do and made it happen.

So Monday morning comes along and one of the first things out of RP's mouth is asking if I am going to wear my new earrings.  I did, and man oh man are they heavy!  Not used to anything but my studs!  When I told him they were heavy he looked at me an apologized!!!  He thought that meant that I didn't like them, I reminded him that I love them and that I would just have to get used to them.  He smiles and we leave.

Monday, MR picked him up from school and I went there to get RP for soccer practice.  The first thing he said to me was, "you actually wore them all day!  Well, I guess you got used to them huh?  *chuckles* At least half way used to them at least."  *It is funnier if you could hear him and the way he talks*  Then, while we were on our way to soccer, he says, "Mom, I didn't buy you the earrings just so that I could have the blue box.  After we talked about your earrings I thought, I should really get my mom some jewelry!"

He is growing so quickly and to the point where he is very thoughtful about what he does for his family, whether it be gifts or words or actions.  Although I do not know if I would have chosen the same earrings that he got me, they are amazing to me.  They represent a change in his development and a step in his growth.  I love being the parent of a seven year old.  I know that I have felt this at every age he has been, but it just seems to get better and better even though it is getting harder too.  It seems like in the past week, even the way he is approaching his homework and reading is different.  Almost like things are clicking for him and he is enjoying school work more.....maybe I just think about him and his developmental steps too much.......naaahhhhh, that can't be it!!  *haha!*