Tonight is the second Presidential Debate......I should really watch that. I know I should, even though it really is a dance and pony show, I should be more informed to it. I still have to watch the first one. And I'm going to....I swear. I know that my life will be affected if either of them are elected but trying to figure out how to keep my son from acting up in school seems more important to me at this moment. I don't know what to do anymore.
Last week he told me that an older girl in the morning Y program was being mean to him. Although I have spoken to the lady in charge on site, the director of the program still has not called me back (I left the first voicemail for her on Friday). So while this is in progress of resolution, his teacher also emails me on Friday that he has teased the same new kid in his class more than once.......not a great email to read on your lunch break, kind of is distracting for the rest of the day. After school we sit down and hash it out. He is angry for being teased and teased another kid. He is angry because he doesn't feel like he can tell the grown ups at his school to take care of any one teasing him. He is angry. Naming feelings and relating them to his behavior is something that he struggles to do. But, he is angry. I don't blame him. My method of managing the situation was what I was taught. You walk away and if that doesn't work, you tell a grown up. What the hell was I thinking?! He can't advocate for himself! He is 7 for fuck's sake!!! And now he is acting out his anger instead of naming it. So now I am angry....at my self.
Although he doesn't believe it, he is lucky to have the teacher he does. She cares about him. She looks out for him. She communicates with me about his behavior when it's needed. Yesterday she responded to my very long winded email from the Friday night hash out. She gave some great advice and told me that RP was making a very real effort to befriend the boy he had teased.
Then today, the more typical email from her.....RP has disrupted lesson.....again. He was making silly faces at other child to make them laugh. As previously written about, this acting out has become quite normal for RP. He saw a counselor last year to help develop his self control and he has started the same counseling program this year. Him getting in trouble for goofing off is so irritating! It isn't that bad, I mean, it's not like he is punching other kids or destroying property, but he is still impeding on the education of others around him.
We have a sticker on the calender system in our house. He gets solid face stickers for having a good day at school and glitter face stickers for having a good evening and bedtime. He is allowed to "cash" in x amount of solid face stickers for a prize from the pumpkin bucket and the same for the glitter face stickers or he is allowed to save them throughout the month and get one big prize. Then we start over the next month. It's been working pretty well. He tells me when I pick him up from school if he deserves a solid face sticker for that day. Even when I haven't received an email about behavior, he will fess up to having a verbal warning once that day and he understands, that means no sticker. He also knows that when he doesn't get a sticker for the school day that it means he has an evening privelage taken away. He is aware of the consequences at home but it doesn't prevent anything! It is so frustrating!!!!! Why won't it click for him yet! His teacher is very understanding and caring, and I count my lucky starts that he is in montessori where he will have her until the end of third grade, but just because she is patient and works with him doesn't mean that his future teacher will be so willing.