Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Fine the way you are

Being a single parent is tough.  I think that is an understatement but it is just something you do.  You push through the hard times.  You develop a stiff upper lip.  You hold your head up through the decisions you make without a partner, good or bad.  You stick to your guns.  Add to that another layer, when you are a singe parent of child whose other parent isn't present.  Life gets a little tougher, but ask any single parent on any day how hard it is, and most won't complain. We single parent in stride and don't focus on it being hard.  We focus on getting it done.  But there are those days.  The days that feel impossible and the times that are gut wrenching.

On the way to soccer practice RP was explaining to me how cool it would be if Brandon Phillips and I got married.  After some chuckles and explaining how unlikely that is, he said.  "I'm just fine the way I am.  I don't need a dad."

My stomach hit the back of my throat.  He has said stuff like that before, but it will always hits hard.  The only thing I could say was that he is better than fine, he is amazing. 
He is right though.  He will be fine without his dad.  He will strive without his dad.  But he said "a dad."  He didn't even direct that statement about his dad.  He knows without truly knowing, that he is moving beyond the hope of his dad returning.  And now, it seems as though he is moving beyond the idea of even having a step dad.  While I don't want him to shut that idea out of his mind, I want him to know that he is right.  He will be fine just the way he is.

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