No one tells you how to handle grief as a grown up or as a parent. No one tells you that grieving is so much harder when you are the caretaker of another person. Suppression has been my method because I don't have time to greive in my day. There is too much to take care of that no one else will do for me.
We had a pack meeting tonight which went really well overall, but the things I would normally take care of, I didn't even remember until someone else was taking care of it. A month ago was our last meeting which means last night a month ago, MR had our round 1 of breaking up (which technically was round 2 if you count our beginning of August conversation) and the after our last pack meeting I got the call about my grandpa.
Here we are a month later, I still don't know that I have come to realize that grandpa is gone and I have left the person who I thought I would marry. It's like everything is just involuntary reaction; no real brain power is happening.
This is the busiest time in the year and all I want to do is stay in bed. I am ready for my motivation to return. I am ready to be me and not a sad, unorganized, irresponsible version of me.