January 27

Last night was a night that I dread. Once in a while they happen, but it was the worse it's ever been. Parker often brings up his dad, though not as often as he used to. His dad pops into conversation occasionally. It was more that "popping" in to conversation last night though. Whenever this happens, I never know how to react, because I feel so many emotions at once. Pain, guilt, anger, sadness, love....it is just a mess of emotions. I am proud of Parker though, because he articulated his emotions and what he was feeling and his fears so well. He is growing up. I wish that someone could tell me how to fix that pain and take it away for him. I realized about half way through the conversation that yesterday was the 3 year anniversary of the day we split ways....that coincidence is strange.

This morning he was happy as a clam, hiding his Ninja Turtle in the chip rack at work. Everyday he hides one of his toys some where in the store hoping for a funny story about who found it and what they thought about it when I pick him up from daycare. He is such a wonderful child and a yearning to make people laugh and be silly with him. I am a lucky parent.