Sunday, April 15, 2012

My Last Day part 2

It's over.  Completely done.  I didn't cry.  It was easier than I thought it would be.  We were busy, which definitely helped.  I thought that it would be like a final feeling, like a break up.  Like it will have never existed in my life.  Eventually it will be more like that, like how college memories are or how I look back at high school....sometimes the memories seem like they are just stories I was told.  Eventually this chapter of my life will be like that but right now it feels like the land of limbo.  I hated saying good bye to everyone.  Most of them, if not all, I will never talk to again, even the ones that I have known forever.  I got an email from one of the women in the office wishing me well and thanking me for making her job easier.  That was nice.  It was really nice and I know that it takes a lot to say that to a person leaving a company.  My superior, who I have known for 9 years, had a blunt farewell.  It was his everyday "see ya."  It was surprising yet expected at the same time.  The entire week I couldn't picture how saying good bye to him would be.  If I was going to cry saying bye to anyone, it would have been to him.  But keeping it in the realm of normalcy made it very unemotional, which I thank him for doing.

It was hard to not call the store when I first woke up Saturday and today.  I kept thinking about checking in Friday night and last night.  Wondering if a truck is needed for tomorrow, wondering if my produce order came at a decent time Saturday morning, wondering how the rain affected business yesterday and how the beautiful sun affected business today, wondering if everyone showed up on time and for the correct shift.....so on and so forth.  I think about that store way more than I knew I did.

So here it is, the night before my first day.  I have outfits picked out for the entire week.  Going over that with Jen was a really good idea but it also shows that all the new clothes I got yesterday will not go as far as I thought they would.  I am wearing these things every day now, not intermittently.  That is a big difference.  I feel like I have nothing still even though I have 100% more than I did the day before.  I even bought a new purse, bracelets, and a necklace.....I know, it's crazy.  Allyson is finally girlie.  No more t-shirts and jeans.  Speaking of which, I have a shit ton of JJ shirts now.  In fact, an entire drawer full, including a visor......what should I do with them?  You think anyone would buy them on Ebay?  I don't even know if St. Vincent De Paul would sell them.......


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