2 Weeks

I have put in my 2 weeks notice to Jimmy John's.  I know.  I know!  I know.......all those things that you are thinking, I know.  It is exciting..  It is scary.  It is big.  It is sad.  It is something that I have never really prepared myself for....I mean, I have been working there for 9 years.  Jimmy John's has covered a lot of changes in my life.  I was there when I first became financially independent of my parents.  It paid my college tuition.  I was there when I turned 21.  I was there when I found out that I was pregnant.  It was the first place, besides home, that I took Parker.  It was there when I needed a job after moving to my mom's.  I was there when I went through the biggest relationship break up of my life.  I was there when I graduated from college.  I was able to move back to Cincinnati because of JJ.  Parker has taken numbers of naps there, helped me set up the lines, put wheat bread in the proofer, helped me clean, greet customers..........I can go on and on and on about how my life has been consumed by JJ for 9 years.  9 years!!!!!  That is so long! 

Telling my superior that I had been offered a job some where else felt like I was breaking up with a significant other.  It was hard.  It is hard everyday.  I realize all the things and people that I will miss.  The staff that I have grown, the relationships that only revolve around us all working together....I will miss them all so much.  I really truly like all of my staff.  They are good people and I like to know that things in their lives are going well and very soon, I will no longer hear those updates or will be asked for my advice about something that is happening.  That makes me sad.  That makes me question my decision.  I know JJ so well, I love JJ so much, I wish that I could always be a part of it.  Some one said to me that it must be nice to know that I don't have to care anymore while I am at work.  Fortunately or unfortunately I do care, I care more about things going correctly now because soon I will not have a say.  I want everyone to be perfect and represent my hard work correctly.

I have six shifts before I turn in my key.  My key change will be so light.  I have known exactly what to expect each week of work.  I know what to expect this week, but after that, I have no idea what will lie ahead.  Well, okay, I do know some things.  Ok, one very big and important thing that lays a head.  Parker will not be waking up before 6:30 am.  And he will not be going to work with me everyday.  This makes me so happy.  I know that each of his days will be a little better starting in a week.. Mine will be better too.....I think though, it will take me longer to adjust.

A Week of Sundays

*this entry involves a lot of pictures*

Last week was Parker's spring break and I was lucky enough to get my vacation approved for the same week.  It was rather uneventful compared to last year's trip to Galitnburg, which is one of my top 5 favorite trips ever, but it was really nice.  He had a field trip on Saturday and of course I found my self at a loss with 3 hours to myself.....so i cleaned.  And what started as an easy task of filing papers and straightening my room quickly turned into cleaning out my closet.  But now I can fit a my laundry basket in side my closet!!!!!  I have never done that before!  I feel like I made the discovery of convenience by putting it there.  I mean, it seriously looks good in there. 
And most of my top shelf is completely empty.  Isn't it great how I when I had time to myself...like actually to my self, no other commitments to anyone, that I spend that time cleaning out my closet....I still feel lame.  Later though, the real excitement happened, we cleaned Parker's room.  Whoa!  (You are totally checking out my shoes aren't you...yes those are amazing blue peep toe below my pink pumps)

It's not like the entire week was that way.  There was some fun had by all.  mr took me to dinner and to see The Hunger Games that Sunday.  It was a really nice night together.  It isn't often that we get a date night, so it was beautiful to have that time together, just us.  And the best part of the entire night-he liked a movie that I picked out!!!!  Sound the trumpets!  Bang the drums!  This is a first folks!!!  We have very little movie compatibility so The Hunger Games is definitely going down as a must buy when it is out so that when all else fails, we know we will both like what we watch.

 On Tuesday my mom and Jen came to visit and we finally framed some art that I have had under my bed for 3 years.  And on top of that, the two of them decided where it should all hang!  It's up to me though to get most of it on the walls.....but I have done a good job so far.  It is nice to look around and see the beautiful Monet prints or the art by Lauren or the print of my favorite fountain all on the walls.  Parker even got his Monet up on his wall.  There is nothing better that hearing him say, "I love Claude Monet."  He really showed a lot of interest when we went to the art museum to see the Monet exhibit.  It warms my soul that he likes my favorite.

<--By Lauren Moyer

 <--In Parker's room, his favorite at the exhibit were the ones with the bridge.

 <---my favorite fountain.  This was a photo that was copied on to a canvas.  It is from roughly 1945.  There is a marquee on the left side of the picture from a theater that was torn down in 1977 to build The Weston.  It was called the Ablee Theater.  I wish it was still there.

 <---This is by Jennifer (Moyer) Leopold, my bedroom now has a tree theme and I love it :)

 <---my Poplars

 <---my Parker













Every morning, I woke up it felt relaxing like a Sunday morning.  I loved that feeling.  When we went on our bike ride on Wednesday, Parker was riding and repeating "Ah, this is the life Mom.  This is the life."  While hysterical, his comment made me think of what that really meant to him.  He was doing one of his favorite activities with me.  It was warm and beautiful that day. We rode almost 5 miles (which I felt all of the next day) and ended at the play ground.  There were no other kids there that early but Parker still ran around like crazy and made me watch every Monkey Bar accomplishment.  It really was the life.

                                          I love Winton Woods.

Whenever I have a chunk of time spent at home, it always makes me wonder what it is like on the other side of the fence.  But now that Parker is older, I realize that I have missed out on that opportunity to be a stay at home mom.  I mean, it would still be amazing to pick Parker up everyday at 3:45 instead of having him go to the after school program.  My house would be immaculate but apparently I really like to clean when I have time to myself.  But what else would I do?  Oh, yes, I forgot!  I fell in love again with origami....so that it what else I would do!
I made all those little paper animals and now I don't know what to do with them.  The frogs are pretty cool, they jump.

Regardless of whether I have missed out on the other side of the fence or not, last week was great.  There was no real planning involved with my vacation.  No extra cost spent (well, except the origami paper).  I had time to see my family, time alone with my mr and much need full attention and quality time with my son.  I could totally take a vacation like that about once a month.

I forgot....we also built this race car.  Pretty damn crafty if you ask me!

A waste of a post.......

i want to write a post but i am drawing a complete blank of new ramblings that i haven't rambled before.  it seems like every thought and problem i have had has been on repeat for the past 4 years.  is life really that repetitive that i cant even blog anymore?  i used to be funnier and wittier than this, has the everyday sucked all of that out of me already?  I'm not even 30 yet!!!!  this cant be true.  not yet 30 and my life is lacking things to make fun of or make extremely sarcastic remarks towards.....eeeeegads.  maybe after my "stay-cation" next week i will have something new and fun and exciting to talk about....not the same old same old.....keep your fingers crossed that i do other wise i may have to change the title of my blog to a view from a single boring mom.......

Moving On

My dear neighbors have moved on.  Tonight will be the first night that I sleep at home knowing that I will not hear the foot steps of the family that has lived above me for the past three years.  Although I know it is very selfish of me to be as upset as I am, I still am.  When I drove up my street and saw the furniture they left behind for trash pick up, it was reminder that I will not see their cars tonight.  When I shut my door, it made a louder sound that echoed in the empty rooms above me.

Although life has made it harder to spend as much time with them as we used to, Nikki ans Zach and their beautiful little girls are a part of my family.  They have helped my home feel like home.  They have been every wonderful meaning of the word neighbor.  I have always been able to count on them and they could count on me.  If we ever needed something, we just had to walk up or down the stairs that separated us.  I have been so lucky to have had such a wonderful couple living so close to me.

When Parker and I first moved here there were these awfully loud and disrespectful people living above us.  They were so noisy and took up so much space that I was grateful when they moved out and we had the entire building to ourselves.  Then my landlord told me that a young couple with an almost one year old girl were going to move in.....I was apprehensive at first but that vanished quickly.  Both Nikki and Zach are amazing people with open hearts but my bond with Nikki was what grew first and fastest for me.  Nikki is someone who completely understands how I think.  She completely gets what I mean when I can't finish my thoughts in words.  She is smart and outspoken.  She never shies away from a discussion about anything.  We reflected each other so greatly when we first met.  We both had babies towards what should have been the end of college and both continued to take classes as moms.  Through our connection, we sparked so many feminist discussions or just ranted about how motherhood is often cast aside from feminism.  She found her feminist voice within the family and birthing.  She has never ceased to amaze me as to how she is able to raise such a wonderful family with such autonomy.  She continues to research those things that spark her interest and seek out others that have that same interest.  We have drifted in terms of how we reflect each other lives.  She has had another beautiful girl since she moved above me and is about to have her third undoubtedly beautiful baby.  I miss her right now.  I have missed her for some time.  We used to put the kids to bed and then watch movies together or every Saturday we would go to Findley Market or have cookouts in our front yard or just sit while Quinn and Parker played together.  But as many know, the older your children get or the more children you have, things change.  Work schedules change.  The amount of time we were home at the same time dwindled.  But she has always been a wonderful friend, and I am so grateful that our lives crossed paths.

It isn't like they moved super far away.....its only about 10 minutes away (maybe 15).  I know we will see each other often but I have grown so accustomed to their sounds, their patterns throughout the night, the sounds of Quinn and Sadie at bedtime, Zach leaving early for a 24 hour shift or when he used to get home very late from his long hours, Nikki leaving for work on Sunday morning, Quinn playing in her room or running around, Zach singing and Nikki laughing.....these sounds were comforting.  Knowing that Parker and I weren't alone here.  I am so happy for the house they found though, it is perfect for them and having a new little one.  It fits exactly what they need right now and I anticipate the first grill out of the year there.

I really hope that no one moves in upstairs too.  There will never be anyone else good enough to live above me.

Should be Day 7 of my blog challenge...but it's not

So I was supposed to be doing this 30 day pitot blog challenge thing....which obviously I failed.  Day two was last Wednesday and it was supposed to be a picture of my breakfast.  Well, I don't really eat breakfast.  That morning, as usual, I sipped coffee while packing Parker's lunch and watching him eat his Kroger brand frosted flakes.  Now, it's not that I eat nothing in the morning, it's just coffee is number 1.  Nothing (even water) before coffee.  Once I have had my 24oz fill to make my brain work right, then it is on to yogurt or fruit.  So anyway, that was my Wednesday morning.  I took a picture of my two clementines and my Fuji apple sitting on the ledge at work but I never really got to posting it for a could of reasons.  Well, actually, just one reason.   I was running very close to the pick up time for Parker's after school program, which isn't odd or out of place.  I am typically there right at 6 pm (although I always write 5:55 on the sign out sheet, I wonder if anyone notices).  But that evening one of the ladies in charge told me that she need to speak to me.  She pulled me aside and handed me a sheet of paper to sign.  She continued to tell me that Parker had come in the physically contact with another child and because of this he would have. 2 day suspension for the Y Winton program.   Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!....was first thought that came though my mind.  2 days?  Seriously?  Did he punch a kid?  No.  So what was the physical contact?  He put play doh on another child's glasses.  Seriously?!?!  Signed the paper and with steam coming out of my ears, I marched Parker to the car.  It is amazing the onset of anger when you have to deal with your child getting in trouble in the public sphere for the first time.  He has had his times where someone had to speak to me about him not listening properly and stuff like that, but he has never done anything that warranted removal.  While I'm still fuming, I tell him that he is under punishment until he is allowed back at Y Winton.  Things like "losing privileges" and "earning them back" fall out of my youth and I realize (only for a split second because I am pretty angry) that I sound just like my parents.  So it is set.  No TV.  No Leapster.  No iPad.  No games.  The first night was no toys either.  Only reading, puzzles or writing selling words allowed.  Lock down for a 6 year old for putting play doh on someone's glasses.  Day 1 wasn't too bad.  I think we went to be at 8 that night.  A full night's rest for both of us, which is not common. So a 2 day suspension means that I was able to leave work at 3:30 otto days in a row.  Typically I would be very VERY excited about this and I would typically have a huge long list of stuff for us to do with our extra time.  I had that thought for a second on thursday.  Then I remembered.....he is under punishment = nothing fun, for either of us.  That evening was very long with the extra 2 hours of being at home added to it. And so was Friday.  Saturday we ere both in jammies all day because there was really no reason to get dressed.  Sunday was the day of excitement because Parker had to go to my dad's house since Monday was a holiday.  Sweet relief for both of us.  He still had to follow the punishment rules, but being at Grandpa Jeff's is the greatest thing on earth, TV and games or not.  And I got to not be the "warden" for the night! Now I am sure you are thinking, jeeze Allyson! Wasn't that a little harsh for play doh covered glasses?  And yes, most of me believe that it was but, for clarification, the other little boy threw play doh at Parker and that was Parker's retaliation.  So for that, no I think it was about right. And what happened today?  His first day back at Y Winton?  He was socked in the face.  Did he retaliate?  Did he punch back?  Nope.  He removed him self from the situation and told a grown up needed ice for his fattening lip.  Lesson learned?  I hope so!  This weekend was awful and I don't really want to do it again! And that is why I never posted the picture of my fruit breakfast.

Announcing.....

So the year is almost over and I have been rather silent lately here.  Too much to think about and too little to write about....it makes sense to me, buuuuut probably not everyone else.  There is something, though, that I need to say.

This year my goal at my job was to receive General Manager of the Year.  I did not accomplish this goal.  There are those who think that I deserve it over the other guy, but to be fair, he did a great job at the store he is running......but it was still a stinging sensation when I found out.  I kept thinking about all the time, effort, sacrifice and energy that I gave to this company for this year.  It is honestly the hardest I have worked for them ever.  I was angry.  I was sad.  I felt betrayed.  But then I put it in perspective a little.  I did all those things (plus more) that I just said for his company, but there is someone who has sacrificed much more than me or the other guy.  So I am proud to announce that my GM of the Year goes to Parker.

He has come to work with me nearly everyday (except when we tried the Nanny-BIG mistake) since he was the age of 3.  He has learned how to help me in the morning.  There are days that he has complained but for the most part, he has loved being a part of what I do.  He knows that you don't push the wheat bread all the way back in the proofer because it could stick to the side.  He knows where all the utensils go on the line.  He actually could set up the line completely by himself.  He is proud of this knowledge and loves to buzz around in the morning.  When I train new people in the morning, he becomes part of the training process.  If he hears that I forgot to say something about something he knows....he will add it in.  Parker has told me on more than one occasion that he can't wait to work at JJ when he grows up too.  While I want his life aspirations to be a bit higher than that.....you know like winning a Nobel Peace Prize, I know that he could easily grow up to do a better job than me....at JJ or any other restaurant or any other management type job.  I never had the experience that he has as a child....and because it kills me that he has to come with me, I kinda need it to mean that he will pull from this experience to benefit him later in life.

First day he has worn his own JJ shirt....needless to say, he loves that shirt.

Thumbs Up!

Doing the cheesy thumbs up again

Parker has no idea that he is making a sacrifice by coming with me in the morning.  For him, it just adds an extra hour that we see each other each day.  But because he is doing so well with it and always has been....he gets and deserves that title much more than me or the other guy.

Some day he will not be with me every morning and....honestly......that will be a sad day for me.

Catch-22

Ah, 22.  Remember 22?  It was a careless age of not caring how late you slept or what exactly happened the night before.  Your entire life was ahead of you that it didn't matter if you were single or coupled, almost college grad or not there yet, jobless or career bound.....it just didn't matter.  Okay, that was not my experience but I can imagine that is how it is for most 22 year olds.  I was pregnant and about to bust, changing majors as a 3rd year student and wondering if the relationship I had committed to was really worth all of the sacrifices I was making.  Not so care-free now that I am thinking back upon it.  But there was a sense of "I can worry about that (insert whatever life issue here) when I am older" because 22 is so young.  Maybe that was how I made it careless.  I would think about my career "later."  I would think about what kind of adult I wanted to be "later."  I would decided what parenting techniques and type of schooling my child would have "later."  That was how I lived out my carelessness.  I would make all of the adult decisions that I couldn't make as a 22 year old "later."  I never thought that "later" would be present.

So now I am 28 on the precipice of 29.  There have been changes in my life since I was 22.  All of the have been very positive changes.  I ended the questionable relationship.  I finished college with outstanding grades.  I started a salary job days after I graduated.  I have raised (solo) a fabulously interesting son who is smart and independent.  Overall I have been very successful and I am proud of that except all of a sudden I feel my biological clock for the first time ever and I am only 28!  It sounds so ridiculous!  I want a career that is not Jimmy John's.  Now that I find my self in a wonderful relationship, I want more than a single life....maybe even a bigger family.  There are so many things that I want that I have not wanted in the past 5 years...some of the things I had not even considered for my future and now they are thoughts that cross my mind every day.  I don't know how to address my wants.  I don't know how to feel about the things that I want now.  Do I need them?  Was I fooling my self before when I thought I would be able to be single forever?  That I would never dream of a life changing career?  Did I think that I would never have a desire to have more children (which honestly I am still on the fence about)?  I never thought that I would change beyond the mentality that I used to survive.  That mentality made me strong and successful so now, do I need to still think the same way?  I never know when to let down my guard and accept the change that has entered my life.  When do I allow myself to depend on others more?  A huge part of me thinks that I should always be able to "pay my own way"...ya know....just in case.  But is that the right way to think in a relationship?  That way of thinking has kept me from depending on others enough to move on to a career or to graduate school.  I can't move on if my only concern in "paying my own way" because of the possibility of not entering a new job at my same salary....and seriously, getting a Masters and working enough to support me and another?!?!?!?  Yea right!  I know there are those who can do that....but I know my limitations...I don't think I could.  I can barely fit in family and friends as of now.  Plus there is no way I would ever be able to settle for anything less than perfect grades.  I mean come on...I'd be paying for it, I would have to get the most for my buck which would be absolute dedication.

I remember watching a Sex in the City episode called the Catch 38.  It was about choosing a relationship over the possibility of ever having a child.  The same biological questions from that made up 38 year old mind and some of the same ones that I am having at 28.  I have never felt so old before in my life and sometimes it seems like it is half over already!  I have so much time in front of me, yet there are so many limitations to that time that I find myself unable to move.  Someone please give me a good shove....I mean it....like a really good-give your neck whiplash shove- so that I move forward with something.  (And I am sure that this is not the first entry where I have mentioned most of the above complaints before)