I got my Gluten Free Grocery Shopping Guide in the mail today! It is great! It literally has everything I need to know about the products I already have in my fridge or if I am my mom's or dad's, I can look up the product name and see if it is good to eat or not! I am so excited about this book. It has names brands, Kroger and Kroger Value brands and Meijer. This book will seriously never leave my purse. Between that and my childhood friend Liz sending me all types of yummy gluten free recipes, I feel so much more confident about being successful through this transition. The book couldn't have arrived on a better day too. Work was stressful this morning, everything that I had planned went the complete opposite. Typically when that happens, I have an early sub (and feel like shit the rest of the day) or eat some bread guts or even gnaw on some day old.....not today. It was hard to because my bread was effin perfect all day. Then the mail came and I my bread craving went away. It is great not feeling like crap all the time. Eating isn't as heavy feeling, unless I eat too much like it did tonight....dinner was good and I could stop my self!
So yeah, that's it. I am just that excited about my new book that I dedicated this little post to it. Seriously, I can not express the level of excitement.....seriously :)
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
This week has sucked. I have been without Gluten for about 2 weeks but really paying super attention to it for about 10 days. My stomach was jack up the other day, but over all I feel good. I don't feel as bloated and heavy whenever I eat. Now I don't know for sure if anything is going to change in terms of my IBS but I physically feel better this week. However, emotionally, I have been a wreck. And no, for anyone thinking it, it is not because I am menstuating (not too much info either because I knew you were thinking it), but I honestly think that I am a little depressed about this dramitc diet change. Even since Parker was born, I have consciously eaten better because he always watches what I eat, but not having things that I love and how closely I have to pay attention to everything is a little stressful.
Good news on the gluten free front though, Krishna (besides Naan bread) is almost entirely a gluten free menu....hello beautiful Indian food, you are now my best friend.
Good news on the gluten free front though, Krishna (besides Naan bread) is almost entirely a gluten free menu....hello beautiful Indian food, you are now my best friend.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Go Dora Go!
I have a disclaimer to this post....I have no references. I could spend the time to find the references that I need on my book shelf but honestly it has been a hellish week and I don't what to, so when I do this (), a reference should be there.
Parker and I do not have cable. We only had it when we lived with my mom from 2 months to 3 years old. At that point in time we would watch Nickelodeon....and a lot of it. The classics mostly like The Backyardigans, Dora, Diego, Blue's Clues...there was no Yo Gabba Gabba (which honestly scares me slightly, I feel like I need to be smoking some serious hash when I watch it). Now our TV is permanently on PBS learn, and every night we watch The Wild Kratts. I have discussed some of these shows within Women's Studies courses while I was attending UC. A lot of my opinions though were formed out side of those classes but they all sparked a little more interest in what we were watching. I am going to talk about most of the individually, kinda like a little analysis.
The Backyardigans.
I love this show. I still find it extremely entertaining and full of imagination. It was new on Nick Jr when Parker was about 2 years old. We stumbled upon it one morning before our walk to library. It caught my attention because the characters were dancing the Hustle to a funky beat. After a few episodes of watching I realized what it was all about. There are 5 characters. Uniqua (a pink tomboyish unknown animal), Pablo (a blue penguin), Tyrone (an orange moose) are all next door neighbors with a shared backyard. Across the fence in the backyard is Austin (a purple kangaroo) and across the street is Tasha (a yellow hippo). The start their daily adventure in their common backyard that transforms into where ever in their imaginations they are playing. They sing and dance custom and catchy songs. Their personalities are all different like their looks. Uniqua was mine and Parker's favorite. She is a very head strong girl who loves adventure and taking on a challenge. There is one episode when Tasha sent Uniqua out to King Austin's and if she is successful she will become a knight. She is a neat character because she is very opposite a "girly" little girl, which is the personality of Tasha. Tasha epitomizes every little girl stereotype. The boy characters have a different array of personalities. Tyrone is easy going, Pablo freaks out every episode and they all have to calm him down, and Austin is a little shy and quiet. I think it is great for small children because it has great music and dancing. They go on great adventures where they have to work together to accomplish their voyage. It teaches children team work, to be friends with anyone despite color, personality or looks and to have an imagination and explore the world through that imagination.
Dora and Diego.
I have to talk about these two together. First there was Dora. She was a little Hispanic girl who went into the world independently to explore it. She taught children how to read maps, speak Spanish and how to be independent in finding things on their own. Dora was a very different cartoon when she hit the lime light. She was the only Hispanic little girl main character. There is no question as to way Dora the Explorer is such a success. She gave a voice to Hispanic children, brought attention to simple Spanish words in a country whose largest minority is the Hispanic population. Because of her ethnicity and first language, she created acceptance in the white and black communities because all of those children, boys and girls a like, loved Dora and the new language/culture they were learning. I know that this was across the board between genders because of how much Parker loved Dora a long with all of the boys in Dora shirts that I witnessed about 4 years ago. She was huge. Eventually they brought on her cousin Diego. Then, off of Dora's coat tails, Diego was a success and got his own show. I don't really have anything against Diego, but at the same time I do. His show minimized the deeper essence to Dora. His show has more Spanish and more variety of words. His rescue pack transforms into whatever he may need to rescue the animals. And there, right there in the name and what he does in the show.....he rescues and his title is a verb. Rescuing. Rescue. We hear that word and we associate it with the masculine (). Our entire language is divided between female associated words and male associated words. Verbs are associated with the male (), Go Diego Go. Adjective are associated with the female (), Dora the Explorer. Male is action; female is passive. Everything that Dora gave to little girls and boys about how they viewed girls as independent "go getters" in the world was taken away by how much more Diego did. This is why I don't like Diego. There was really no reason for his own show besides to make more money. Dora is still important but the light that once shown on her was dimmed by Diego....hmm, imagine that, a male character taking center stage over the female....that doesn't reflect societal views of women at all.....right?
The Wild Kratts.
I am skipping the rest of the Nick Jr. shows to move on to The Wild Kratts. I honestly don't have much a feminist view on this one. The Kratt brothers are real brothers who are on the creature trail. They are zoologist that turn to cartoon characters to help save whatever animal they are highlighting on the episode. There are female characters in the show, who are both scientist. So that is a plus. Parker loves that show because he learns about animals and conservation. He is proud of the education he gains from that show and it is one that I am very comfortable with him watching because he takes positive information away with him. He will often talk about being on the creature trail too because of all of the animals that we see at mr's house. Parker has included mr to be on the creature trail as well.
It is funny to think about the cartoons that I watched when I was little and seriously miss them on TV. Remember Loony Toons? Remember how everyone decided that it was too violent for children to be watching? I mean, I get it, but doesn't a lot of the other side of what children watch come from the rest of the influence in their lives? I am not a violent person and I can not tell you how many episodes to Wyle E Coyote trying to kill the Road Runner....but my parents taught me to not be violent. Maybe I am just opening a new can of worms to talk about here.
Parker and I do not have cable. We only had it when we lived with my mom from 2 months to 3 years old. At that point in time we would watch Nickelodeon....and a lot of it. The classics mostly like The Backyardigans, Dora, Diego, Blue's Clues...there was no Yo Gabba Gabba (which honestly scares me slightly, I feel like I need to be smoking some serious hash when I watch it). Now our TV is permanently on PBS learn, and every night we watch The Wild Kratts. I have discussed some of these shows within Women's Studies courses while I was attending UC. A lot of my opinions though were formed out side of those classes but they all sparked a little more interest in what we were watching. I am going to talk about most of the individually, kinda like a little analysis.
The Backyardigans.
I love this show. I still find it extremely entertaining and full of imagination. It was new on Nick Jr when Parker was about 2 years old. We stumbled upon it one morning before our walk to library. It caught my attention because the characters were dancing the Hustle to a funky beat. After a few episodes of watching I realized what it was all about. There are 5 characters. Uniqua (a pink tomboyish unknown animal), Pablo (a blue penguin), Tyrone (an orange moose) are all next door neighbors with a shared backyard. Across the fence in the backyard is Austin (a purple kangaroo) and across the street is Tasha (a yellow hippo). The start their daily adventure in their common backyard that transforms into where ever in their imaginations they are playing. They sing and dance custom and catchy songs. Their personalities are all different like their looks. Uniqua was mine and Parker's favorite. She is a very head strong girl who loves adventure and taking on a challenge. There is one episode when Tasha sent Uniqua out to King Austin's and if she is successful she will become a knight. She is a neat character because she is very opposite a "girly" little girl, which is the personality of Tasha. Tasha epitomizes every little girl stereotype. The boy characters have a different array of personalities. Tyrone is easy going, Pablo freaks out every episode and they all have to calm him down, and Austin is a little shy and quiet. I think it is great for small children because it has great music and dancing. They go on great adventures where they have to work together to accomplish their voyage. It teaches children team work, to be friends with anyone despite color, personality or looks and to have an imagination and explore the world through that imagination.
Dora and Diego.
I have to talk about these two together. First there was Dora. She was a little Hispanic girl who went into the world independently to explore it. She taught children how to read maps, speak Spanish and how to be independent in finding things on their own. Dora was a very different cartoon when she hit the lime light. She was the only Hispanic little girl main character. There is no question as to way Dora the Explorer is such a success. She gave a voice to Hispanic children, brought attention to simple Spanish words in a country whose largest minority is the Hispanic population. Because of her ethnicity and first language, she created acceptance in the white and black communities because all of those children, boys and girls a like, loved Dora and the new language/culture they were learning. I know that this was across the board between genders because of how much Parker loved Dora a long with all of the boys in Dora shirts that I witnessed about 4 years ago. She was huge. Eventually they brought on her cousin Diego. Then, off of Dora's coat tails, Diego was a success and got his own show. I don't really have anything against Diego, but at the same time I do. His show minimized the deeper essence to Dora. His show has more Spanish and more variety of words. His rescue pack transforms into whatever he may need to rescue the animals. And there, right there in the name and what he does in the show.....he rescues and his title is a verb. Rescuing. Rescue. We hear that word and we associate it with the masculine (). Our entire language is divided between female associated words and male associated words. Verbs are associated with the male (), Go Diego Go. Adjective are associated with the female (), Dora the Explorer. Male is action; female is passive. Everything that Dora gave to little girls and boys about how they viewed girls as independent "go getters" in the world was taken away by how much more Diego did. This is why I don't like Diego. There was really no reason for his own show besides to make more money. Dora is still important but the light that once shown on her was dimmed by Diego....hmm, imagine that, a male character taking center stage over the female....that doesn't reflect societal views of women at all.....right?
The Wild Kratts.
I am skipping the rest of the Nick Jr. shows to move on to The Wild Kratts. I honestly don't have much a feminist view on this one. The Kratt brothers are real brothers who are on the creature trail. They are zoologist that turn to cartoon characters to help save whatever animal they are highlighting on the episode. There are female characters in the show, who are both scientist. So that is a plus. Parker loves that show because he learns about animals and conservation. He is proud of the education he gains from that show and it is one that I am very comfortable with him watching because he takes positive information away with him. He will often talk about being on the creature trail too because of all of the animals that we see at mr's house. Parker has included mr to be on the creature trail as well.
It is funny to think about the cartoons that I watched when I was little and seriously miss them on TV. Remember Loony Toons? Remember how everyone decided that it was too violent for children to be watching? I mean, I get it, but doesn't a lot of the other side of what children watch come from the rest of the influence in their lives? I am not a violent person and I can not tell you how many episodes to Wyle E Coyote trying to kill the Road Runner....but my parents taught me to not be violent. Maybe I am just opening a new can of worms to talk about here.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Becoming Gluten Free
First of all....this is effing hard.
This may sound random to some people....well maybe everyone. I have never had a great stomach or digestive system; my mom has IBS and I was tested for Crohn's and it was negative, my doctor, about 12 years ago, decided that all of my symptoms fall under IBS as well. At the end of high school and the beginning of college were my darkest times. I literally could not eat anything without worrying about my stomach errupting and causing a great deal of pain. The pain is so bad with IBS that my mom told me if I could get through an episode, child labor would be a breeze.....years later while I was in labor with Parker, I remembered her statement and honestly, I remember IBS pain, I could not tell you how bad the pain was in labor....yea it hurt, but it was tolerable.
So my mid to late 20's were really smooth. The pain that I experienced in high school and early college was not nearly as frequent. I could go weeks without an episode and I become tolerant to peppers....which I love now. Looking back at how this syndrome has changed through my life is interesting. When I felt the least amount of stress, between 18 and 21, it was the worse in terms of pain and frequency. Then through pregnancy and my break up with Parker's dad, finishing college with a small child (and commuting from Dayton to Cincinnati everyday), starting the job I still have, transfering and moving back to Cincinnati...which all was much more stressful, my system was some what normal. But since my downtown store closed last June, my system has changed drasitcally. It is completely different than in my early 20's. Since the beginning of 2011, it has gotten worse and I am just simply sick of nothing working. The most common suggestion I have to help me is to take fiber....well, it has shown that fiber actually makes symptoms worse.
I was bumming around on medical websites and was rerearching IBS (I do this every so ofter) and it said that a common trigger for IBS is wheat, barley and rye. Three of my most favorite things in the world. I have tried so many things from perscriptions to probiotics to everything I can think of so now it is time to try this. I have not consulted a doctor yet which may make some people cringe that I am trying something so drastic with out than consultation. I plan on it, but the sacfrice is worth the idea or possibility of being some what normal. I feel like crap most of the time...I am always bloated which makes me feel like the size of a house, I just hate those feelings and everything else that goes with it too.
I thought it didn't sound too hard until I went to the grocery store on Saturday. I buy red beans in chili sauce...they are great in tacos or just with a bit of chicken....well guess what...those effing beans have wheat in them. Also I bought ice cream without reading the label, and you can guess what was in that too. I have come to terms with no beer, mostly, I have discovered the hard cider really isn't that bad, vodka and everclear are always options and maybe I will discover a taste for wine. But overall, this is going to be much more difficult than I thought but it has been a week and although I don't know what normal feels like, I feel a little better than normal for me.
This may sound random to some people....well maybe everyone. I have never had a great stomach or digestive system; my mom has IBS and I was tested for Crohn's and it was negative, my doctor, about 12 years ago, decided that all of my symptoms fall under IBS as well. At the end of high school and the beginning of college were my darkest times. I literally could not eat anything without worrying about my stomach errupting and causing a great deal of pain. The pain is so bad with IBS that my mom told me if I could get through an episode, child labor would be a breeze.....years later while I was in labor with Parker, I remembered her statement and honestly, I remember IBS pain, I could not tell you how bad the pain was in labor....yea it hurt, but it was tolerable.
So my mid to late 20's were really smooth. The pain that I experienced in high school and early college was not nearly as frequent. I could go weeks without an episode and I become tolerant to peppers....which I love now. Looking back at how this syndrome has changed through my life is interesting. When I felt the least amount of stress, between 18 and 21, it was the worse in terms of pain and frequency. Then through pregnancy and my break up with Parker's dad, finishing college with a small child (and commuting from Dayton to Cincinnati everyday), starting the job I still have, transfering and moving back to Cincinnati...which all was much more stressful, my system was some what normal. But since my downtown store closed last June, my system has changed drasitcally. It is completely different than in my early 20's. Since the beginning of 2011, it has gotten worse and I am just simply sick of nothing working. The most common suggestion I have to help me is to take fiber....well, it has shown that fiber actually makes symptoms worse.
I was bumming around on medical websites and was rerearching IBS (I do this every so ofter) and it said that a common trigger for IBS is wheat, barley and rye. Three of my most favorite things in the world. I have tried so many things from perscriptions to probiotics to everything I can think of so now it is time to try this. I have not consulted a doctor yet which may make some people cringe that I am trying something so drastic with out than consultation. I plan on it, but the sacfrice is worth the idea or possibility of being some what normal. I feel like crap most of the time...I am always bloated which makes me feel like the size of a house, I just hate those feelings and everything else that goes with it too.
I thought it didn't sound too hard until I went to the grocery store on Saturday. I buy red beans in chili sauce...they are great in tacos or just with a bit of chicken....well guess what...those effing beans have wheat in them. Also I bought ice cream without reading the label, and you can guess what was in that too. I have come to terms with no beer, mostly, I have discovered the hard cider really isn't that bad, vodka and everclear are always options and maybe I will discover a taste for wine. But overall, this is going to be much more difficult than I thought but it has been a week and although I don't know what normal feels like, I feel a little better than normal for me.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
When someone hurts your baby Part II
To understand, please read this.
I am not the type to threaten people. Even at work when someone is really really screwing up, I do not threaten them to correct their bad work behavior because it really doesn't work. I have threatened to "ground" Parker from his toys as a way to get through to him when he is in the 6 year old tunnel vision of a fit or whatever you want to call his bad attitude driven behavior, but over all, it is not my favorite tactic. I feel like communication about the issue is better for most circumstances.
When this event first happened, a close friend told me to just drop the "L" (lawyer) word and I would get my money back asap. At that point, getting a refund for the camp that I had planned on paying for wasn't my first thought. I wanted people to be held accountable and educated on the need for everyone to use sunscreen, not just my pale ass kid. But after about a week, and giving my self enough time to step back, I realized (with the help of everyone) that by not asking for them to compensate me in any form, that it would be much more likely for their negligence to affect another family and also that it was still the easy way out for them. Pay me to not go to the Health Board or to not go to the Ohio Licensing office for Daycare facilities or the media or the Mayor or who ever. It was still the only thing I could think about even though Parker's shoulders were nearly done peeling. So I decided that I would email the same guy that offered me the full refund in the first place. I didn't ask for the full amount back, but for compensation for his doctor's visit and the weeks after the incident happened. That was about a week and a half ago. I have gotten no response. Monday was Parker's first day back to being allowed to swim and play outside. I told one of the workers that in the morning and wrote a note for her to pass along to his main counselor, but just to ensure that the communication chain wouldn't break down again.....I emailed the head of the Rec Center to let him know (the same guy who offered me the refund, and who I had emailed multiple times before) and within a 2 hours I was emailed back saying that he would absolutely pass along the message to the entire staff. 2 hours! Of course I started thinking that the email involving the $ amount didn't go through so I checked my sent messages.....it definitely did! I was telling a friend of mine last night (who works in a daycare facility and used to be Parker's care provider), and she said to email him again just to make sure he received the first one. Thinking that I would get a response like it did yesterday morning, I re-emailed him about 24 hours ago and nada. I am pissed. Probably more pissed than I was the day I walked in and Parker had massive blisters on his shoulders. So now, do I drop the "L" word?
I am not the type to threaten people. Even at work when someone is really really screwing up, I do not threaten them to correct their bad work behavior because it really doesn't work. I have threatened to "ground" Parker from his toys as a way to get through to him when he is in the 6 year old tunnel vision of a fit or whatever you want to call his bad attitude driven behavior, but over all, it is not my favorite tactic. I feel like communication about the issue is better for most circumstances.
When this event first happened, a close friend told me to just drop the "L" (lawyer) word and I would get my money back asap. At that point, getting a refund for the camp that I had planned on paying for wasn't my first thought. I wanted people to be held accountable and educated on the need for everyone to use sunscreen, not just my pale ass kid. But after about a week, and giving my self enough time to step back, I realized (with the help of everyone) that by not asking for them to compensate me in any form, that it would be much more likely for their negligence to affect another family and also that it was still the easy way out for them. Pay me to not go to the Health Board or to not go to the Ohio Licensing office for Daycare facilities or the media or the Mayor or who ever. It was still the only thing I could think about even though Parker's shoulders were nearly done peeling. So I decided that I would email the same guy that offered me the full refund in the first place. I didn't ask for the full amount back, but for compensation for his doctor's visit and the weeks after the incident happened. That was about a week and a half ago. I have gotten no response. Monday was Parker's first day back to being allowed to swim and play outside. I told one of the workers that in the morning and wrote a note for her to pass along to his main counselor, but just to ensure that the communication chain wouldn't break down again.....I emailed the head of the Rec Center to let him know (the same guy who offered me the refund, and who I had emailed multiple times before) and within a 2 hours I was emailed back saying that he would absolutely pass along the message to the entire staff. 2 hours! Of course I started thinking that the email involving the $ amount didn't go through so I checked my sent messages.....it definitely did! I was telling a friend of mine last night (who works in a daycare facility and used to be Parker's care provider), and she said to email him again just to make sure he received the first one. Thinking that I would get a response like it did yesterday morning, I re-emailed him about 24 hours ago and nada. I am pissed. Probably more pissed than I was the day I walked in and Parker had massive blisters on his shoulders. So now, do I drop the "L" word?
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Missing Toys
Parker has been out of town a lot with his Grandpa this summer. It is a great way for him to bond with my dad and have quality guy to guy time, which I have a hard time providing. It is hard on me though because I am internally lonely without him in the same city as me. It is also hard on my house because I find my self at mr's house the entire time Parker is out of town. I am not complaining at all, it has been a great summer thus far. mr and I have grown closer and it feels wonderful to wake up next to him on the weekdays too. But, it is hard on my house because I am not here to keep it spotless while Parker is gone. This last trip he took to Michigan, I decided it is was time to tackle his room. The common areas of the house stay decently clean, and he does a great job of picking up his toys from the living room when it is that time, but I have let him neglect his room. I know, tsk tsk Mom....but.....well, I was trying to think of a reason why was letting him do that and I can't....so again, tsk tsk Mom. It was beyond anything he could manage on his own, so I told him I would do that for him while he was with Grandpa. Now, to set this straight.....I was very very clear that he would come home to less toys. He understands donating things and that it means that other kids who don't have as much as him can then have a little more when he donates his stuff. The last time we tried to clean out his toys together, he got rid of about 5 on his own....which is good considering how hard it is to part with those cheap toys you get at McDonald's *sarcasm.* I made it explicitly clear that I was getting rid of enough stuff to make enough room for he recently received birthday toys. He said "ok." In fact, he even said "Thank you for doing this for me Mommy, thank you."
So that is what I dedicated my first Friday without him to, cleaning out his room. Boxing clothes, toys, stuffed animals, all with the mind of what he does and does not play with anymore. I did a very good job. His room looks amazing. We donated about 3 boxes of toys and like 5 of clothes. There were some questionable items that I got rid of, like the toys that he would play with once every 3 months. So that was that. We took all the stuff to Vincent De Paul's, and that is the end of it. I was so excited for him to see is room, that I called him that day, and again, we discussed that there would be less toys.
Fast forward to yesterday. He is playing and super excited about how his room looks. He typically doesn't play in there but he was all about it yesterday. Until, he came out crying. I thought he was hurt until he calmed down enough to ask where his McDonald's cash register was......let me tell you, he has not played with that thing since at least Christmas or before! In fact he would play with it with his kitchen and we gave his kitchen and dishes to Quinn for Christmas so I know it hasn't been since then! And oh the tears! Like I donated his most coveted cars or super heroes or star wars guys! Tears tears tears! I was thinking to myself....great, he is going to notice every last thing that I got rid of! He calmed down. Finally. But that is just the beginning. He still, a day later has not opened his closest yet to see that his big trucks, that had dust on them, are gone. He did just come out looking for his road cones, which I will give him, I should have kept. I thought I did. So word to the wise.....I have no advice on how to get rid of the old toys our kids no longer use on a daily basis! We can't keep these toys forever but we can't get rid of them either! Next time I think I will try a garage sale and he can keep the money from what he sells, maybe that will end the sorrow over the toys that have left his life.
So that is what I dedicated my first Friday without him to, cleaning out his room. Boxing clothes, toys, stuffed animals, all with the mind of what he does and does not play with anymore. I did a very good job. His room looks amazing. We donated about 3 boxes of toys and like 5 of clothes. There were some questionable items that I got rid of, like the toys that he would play with once every 3 months. So that was that. We took all the stuff to Vincent De Paul's, and that is the end of it. I was so excited for him to see is room, that I called him that day, and again, we discussed that there would be less toys.
Fast forward to yesterday. He is playing and super excited about how his room looks. He typically doesn't play in there but he was all about it yesterday. Until, he came out crying. I thought he was hurt until he calmed down enough to ask where his McDonald's cash register was......let me tell you, he has not played with that thing since at least Christmas or before! In fact he would play with it with his kitchen and we gave his kitchen and dishes to Quinn for Christmas so I know it hasn't been since then! And oh the tears! Like I donated his most coveted cars or super heroes or star wars guys! Tears tears tears! I was thinking to myself....great, he is going to notice every last thing that I got rid of! He calmed down. Finally. But that is just the beginning. He still, a day later has not opened his closest yet to see that his big trucks, that had dust on them, are gone. He did just come out looking for his road cones, which I will give him, I should have kept. I thought I did. So word to the wise.....I have no advice on how to get rid of the old toys our kids no longer use on a daily basis! We can't keep these toys forever but we can't get rid of them either! Next time I think I will try a garage sale and he can keep the money from what he sells, maybe that will end the sorrow over the toys that have left his life.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
The Destroyer
If you don't already know Lauren Moyer, you should. She is this amazing artist who is not only talented with a brush and canvas but her artisticness (I think I made that word up) goes much further. Lauren has her own fashion blog....let me tell you, I have been jealous of the different looks that she can pull off for years now. But she can also sew, crochet and design her own clothes or art. She has mixed needlepoint with her painting and has made these cute little stuffed owls (I am still waiting on mine, I think they are back ordered). She has so many talents that go beyond her art to cooking, writing, bike riding for hours and hours, training her dog, listening, giving advice, and making you view the world a little differently. I have said before that I wish I could see what the world looks like through her eyes with her talent just for a day so that I can better understand her. We have had our dfferences over the past 25 years but we are in a place of friendship and appriciation for each other now, well, at least that is how I view our relationship and I hope that she agrees.
Lauren is on the precipice of one of the most profound journey's she will ever embark. She is soon moving from Detriot, her home for the past 7 years, to live in Ohio for a month before moving to San Fransisco. Lauren is no stranger to moving far away from home; when she was 17 she moved to Brasil to study abroad for 6 months. It was hard on her at first, but it helped her grow as a person so much that I can't image who she would be if she hadn't gone. This voyage is different though, she is not leaving for a temporary 6 month stent, but to live, work and to thrive on the west coast. It is a bittersweet journey as well. She imagined doing this with her ex-fiance one day......but note the word "ex." Like many have told her already, and I will not spend much time on this, but it is completely his loss in life because of how amazing Lauren is and because she does have this drive to go beyond what is safe for her in Detroit, he could not see beyond his safety net and was too cowardly to take the step that Lauren in about to take. Unlike him, Lauren is brave. She is much braver than she knows which is frustrating but exciting. I get frustrated because I can see it in her. I can see her success. I can see her finding out so much about herself that she doesn't know is there. But she can't see it yet. It is exciting because she will and she will call me and tell me all about what she is doing out there and how challenging it is but how she is over coming those challenges. She will tell about the people she is meeting and how she is finding her niche through old friends who are already there and the new friends that keep her going. She will change. She will grow. She will find a strength inside that she has never had to use.
Maybe that is the part that excites me the most. We Moyer girls are very independent individuals. There is no way to argue that point at all. It is the environment that we grew up in but we have all expressed it differently. Lauren has shown it through her ability and willingness to travel. While she and Jen both went to school outside the state, she is the only one who has moved away from Ohio. That has been her independance. She had been in a relationship for 5 years and when anyone is in a relationship for an extended amount of time, they grow dependant on the other person, which is natural. She has been living alone for months now and has been successful. Living by yourself is difficult, but it is a huge learning process. You discover when you need to ask for help and when you need to push yourself to figure it out on your own. She is doing it well in Detroit but will get even better at it when she is in California.
I told her recently that I can't wait to meet her again in a year. It may sound silly because at her core, she has been the same since she was a little girl, but she will be so different in so many ways in one year that I can't wait to remeet my little sister. She will have survived the move, the job search, the heartache for home and the Eastern time zone. She will be beyond the initial "glam" of California and find her self in everyday life out there. Her life will be there and I will be waiting to hear from her every time she calls.
Writing this about her is the first time that I have really truly thought about her moving across the country. Yes, she has been in Michigan for years and years now and we don't see each other often as is, but we are in the same time zone. We really don't talk on the phone much either, but there is something secure about know that your sister is waking up, eating lunch and dinner around the same time as you. The climate is not terribly different between Ohio and Michigan either. It is cooler up there, but summer here is summer there and so on and so forth. I know I will miss her more once she is there. Our birthdays will be harder this year. I hated hers being the day before mine for so long but since we have lived away from each other, it doesn't feel like my birthday without celebrating hers at the same time. I will miss her. Ohio has missed her for some time but now Michigan will miss her as well. I can't and won't be sad for too long thought because of how much this will influence her life. I am too proud of her to be sad for too long. I am too excited. I am too envious of her to be sad. She is doing something that I have always (since the age of 24), dreamed of doing.
Lauren, you are and always will be amazing. You will have hard times but they will lessen with the amount of time you are there. It will get easier and you will get stronger. Everyday you will discover something new within your self. You will find a job and you will make more beautiful art. California called on you for your art before and they will call on you for more. You will fall in love with that side of the world and although Ohio will always be home and the heart of it all, it is too small for you. You need bigger. You need more from a State and section of the country. Never doubt yourself and your ability. I love you and believe in you. If you ever need a Lauren Pep Talk, you know who to call. I am proud of you.
Lauren is on the precipice of one of the most profound journey's she will ever embark. She is soon moving from Detriot, her home for the past 7 years, to live in Ohio for a month before moving to San Fransisco. Lauren is no stranger to moving far away from home; when she was 17 she moved to Brasil to study abroad for 6 months. It was hard on her at first, but it helped her grow as a person so much that I can't image who she would be if she hadn't gone. This voyage is different though, she is not leaving for a temporary 6 month stent, but to live, work and to thrive on the west coast. It is a bittersweet journey as well. She imagined doing this with her ex-fiance one day......but note the word "ex." Like many have told her already, and I will not spend much time on this, but it is completely his loss in life because of how amazing Lauren is and because she does have this drive to go beyond what is safe for her in Detroit, he could not see beyond his safety net and was too cowardly to take the step that Lauren in about to take. Unlike him, Lauren is brave. She is much braver than she knows which is frustrating but exciting. I get frustrated because I can see it in her. I can see her success. I can see her finding out so much about herself that she doesn't know is there. But she can't see it yet. It is exciting because she will and she will call me and tell me all about what she is doing out there and how challenging it is but how she is over coming those challenges. She will tell about the people she is meeting and how she is finding her niche through old friends who are already there and the new friends that keep her going. She will change. She will grow. She will find a strength inside that she has never had to use.
Maybe that is the part that excites me the most. We Moyer girls are very independent individuals. There is no way to argue that point at all. It is the environment that we grew up in but we have all expressed it differently. Lauren has shown it through her ability and willingness to travel. While she and Jen both went to school outside the state, she is the only one who has moved away from Ohio. That has been her independance. She had been in a relationship for 5 years and when anyone is in a relationship for an extended amount of time, they grow dependant on the other person, which is natural. She has been living alone for months now and has been successful. Living by yourself is difficult, but it is a huge learning process. You discover when you need to ask for help and when you need to push yourself to figure it out on your own. She is doing it well in Detroit but will get even better at it when she is in California.
I told her recently that I can't wait to meet her again in a year. It may sound silly because at her core, she has been the same since she was a little girl, but she will be so different in so many ways in one year that I can't wait to remeet my little sister. She will have survived the move, the job search, the heartache for home and the Eastern time zone. She will be beyond the initial "glam" of California and find her self in everyday life out there. Her life will be there and I will be waiting to hear from her every time she calls.
Writing this about her is the first time that I have really truly thought about her moving across the country. Yes, she has been in Michigan for years and years now and we don't see each other often as is, but we are in the same time zone. We really don't talk on the phone much either, but there is something secure about know that your sister is waking up, eating lunch and dinner around the same time as you. The climate is not terribly different between Ohio and Michigan either. It is cooler up there, but summer here is summer there and so on and so forth. I know I will miss her more once she is there. Our birthdays will be harder this year. I hated hers being the day before mine for so long but since we have lived away from each other, it doesn't feel like my birthday without celebrating hers at the same time. I will miss her. Ohio has missed her for some time but now Michigan will miss her as well. I can't and won't be sad for too long thought because of how much this will influence her life. I am too proud of her to be sad for too long. I am too excited. I am too envious of her to be sad. She is doing something that I have always (since the age of 24), dreamed of doing.
Lauren, you are and always will be amazing. You will have hard times but they will lessen with the amount of time you are there. It will get easier and you will get stronger. Everyday you will discover something new within your self. You will find a job and you will make more beautiful art. California called on you for your art before and they will call on you for more. You will fall in love with that side of the world and although Ohio will always be home and the heart of it all, it is too small for you. You need bigger. You need more from a State and section of the country. Never doubt yourself and your ability. I love you and believe in you. If you ever need a Lauren Pep Talk, you know who to call. I am proud of you.
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