Most of the time

2009 is over. The first month of 2010 is half way through. My goodness, I am getting old enough to wonder where the time goes. I am glad that 2009 is over, it did not treat me well. I bitch too much really, but I would just like this year to be less bumpy. Every new year we naturally do a personal "Year End Review." We sit and recall as much as we can from the past year, good and bad and start comparing it to the beginning of the new year. I have been doing this. Most people hope that they see personal growth, a better attitude, change. Or because they lacked that, they will strive for those things this year. When I am looking back over the past year, I have realized that not much has changed in my little life. I am still living in the same place, still working at the same job (mostly with the same people), still single (although a year ago I did try my hand at a relationship), still, kinda just there. Does this mean that my life is stagnant? Or comfortable? Is one bad and the other good? My friends this year have had babies or become pregnant, my sister bought a new house, my younger sister went on a personal growth journey for most of the year and I have had no real change. I am perplexed at the meaning (if any) behind this. I guess I should really ask if I want anything to change. I cannot say that I would. Most of the time I am happy, most of the time Parker is happy. Most of the time we are healthy and laughing and having fun while getting business done. Sometimes I am lonely and think that I want a partner to share the "most of the time" moments with, but luckily I have a great family and a couple truely wonderful friends.

These are my favorite ones, when you write your thoughts and through that you are able to make you own connections and see your conclusion.

I have created a monster!

This is Parker and Elysia, his one true love.  This is Parker's new hair.  This is the story of Parker's new hair.

Last week Parker was complaining about his hair in his eyes.  I asked him if he would want me to trim it again so he could see better and his response was, "No Mommy, I don't want you to cut my hair.". So we decided that we would pay for a hair cut.  Fast forward to Saturday.  After basketball we went to Great Clips.  I asked if he wanted a mohawk and he excitedly shook his head yes.  He was wonderful during the process.  Made fish faces in the mirror and didn't budge.  I didn't do as well, had a minor panic when she took the clippers with the 1 inch guard to his beautiful blonde locks.  About 5 inches and 10 minutes later, he was done.  The lady asked if I wanted her to style it and of course I said yes.  I have a hard enough time styling my hair!  So instructions were good.  Well, he loves it and looks handsome, but the best part is that I had to buy styling product for my 4 year old's new hair do!

Later that day, "Mommy, did my hair fall down?  I think my hair fell down.". No it's fine.

"Mommy, can we put more of that stuff in my hair so it won't fall down?"  Sure Parker.

"Mommy, did you bring my hair stuff with us?" No Parker, we don't need it right now.  "But Mommy, what if my hair falls down while we are in the car?". It won't sweetie.  "Well you should have brought it in case is falls down when we are at Aunt Jen's, but you forgot!".

Ugh....explaining to him that he wouldn't wear it up everyday was about a half hour discussion.

I have created a monster!

Fight or flight

So there has been a fellow that I have had the pleasure of
communicating with over the monthish. We have spent just a small
amount of time together but it was wonderful. My heart has fluttered
since we started speaking. There is something about him. My sister's
believe the "something" that I am attracted to is his locational
unavailability because it would then be easier for my emotional
unavailability. Of course I disagree. The location of his housing
and the fact that he travels seems to be more like a plus because of
my lack of free time anytime but the weekend. But there has been a
recent conversation that has left me confused. While it wasn't
negative in the "I don't like you" sense, it was still not blindly
reassuring. I have never been fought for, I have tried to fight for
others before and wound up unsuccessful. Now he has basically laid
his shit out on the table. I know that the question will be "do I
fight for a person I don't know and I don't know that I will win or do
I cash in my chips while I'm ahead and no "real" feelings have
developed?" And if I do fight will it be for me or him?

Obviously I cannot make this decision now. Like I said, I barely know
him. Intuition is off kilter on this fellow.

Why is it when a good thing happens there is a slew of bad right after? I had an amazing weekend with the fellow. We did mundane tasks like reorganizing some of his work files and running some errands and watching Mythbusters, but it was wonderful and comfortable and just nice. Had dinner and then Sunday we went and watched people fly remote control airplanes and hellicoptors. Again, things that don't sound exciting to everyone, but it was really great. The rest of the week has not been so great. I waited in line in the rain for 10 hours to try to secure a spot for Parker at Fairview, and I got 18th on the waiting list. The solution? Move to the burbs for a good education or go Montissouri for a year and try again for Fairview next year. I am trying this opitimism thing that people talk about so the positive spin to not getting in is that something better is on the horizon....you like that? It is difficult to spit that out. And today! I was an hour late for work! I woke up at 7am!!!!! All because I didn't remember to reset my alarm on my phone from sleeping in yesterday morning......grrrrrrrr....

But it's okay, tomorrow is friday! I get to see my sisters! And I get to see Phish two nights in a row!!!!!

Allyson the plumber

To all of you that own your own home, I don't know if I should be
jealous or not. My kitchen sink started draining very slowly two days
ago so yesterday I decided half a bottle of drano should fix
it....wrong-o!!! Poured it in, waited the suggested half an hour,
left the house for the evening, returned and still, the sink was half
full of water. This morning, still half full of water (notice the
optimism is half full?!?!?! I am a changing woman!). So I decided I
can take care of this without calling my landlord! He is an oft
anyway and it wouldn't get fixed by him until tomorrow...problem
standing in my way? No tools. Daddydearest brought me down some
wrenches and we got to work. Water went everywhere only for us to
figure out that the clog was not in the trap. So now I have to pawn
it off on my landlord but there are dishes! So many dishes!!! Sunday
is catch up and clean all the dishes day!!! This day cannot actually
be completed and checked off until all the dishes are done!!!!!
Solution you ask?! The tub. I just washed dishes in the effing tub.
Awesome. So now I am wondering about home ownership. Is it better to
have to fix all the stuff yourself or pawn it off?

Although today cannot be completed because my back cannot handle all
the dishes in the tub, the rest of the house looks amazing. Parker
was responsible for picking up his toys in the living room today and
the usual "I can't do it all by my self," whine-fest started. He
whined a bit, I told him he could atleast put his race track away by
himself and he did. Then while I was cleaning the bathroom I hear him
say " Mommy come look at the living room.". I went out and every toy
and book were put away, the clincher, everything was put away in it's
place! He was so proud of himself, he was beaming :) (and so was I).

Exhausted

Today has wiped me out! Basketball started today and out of three
coaches, none of them could make it! That's a little rediculous! On
top of attempting to help in a sport I know nothing about, Parker was
literally laying on the ground.

Trick or treating was fun last night. We went with Mary, her two kids
and husband. I've never really been to Cheviot neighborhoods before
so it was neat to walk around. Very cold, but neat. After we were
done trick or treating we put on some foil and went to Chipotle for
free burritos.....deeeelicious!

My work week last week sucked towards the end. Collins and a dude he
was training came to my store the same day that my night crew forgot
to put away the bread the night before. Stressful morning to say the
least. The dude intraining was cool though. Pretty cute too. We did
great on the audit so the day ended well except that I was there until
close. So I didn't get make yummies for Parker Halloween party on
Friday and then Friday I had to close too! It a wonder that I am so
tired!

I have also spent way too many hours on the phone until way too earliy
in the morning with a fellow. The amount of time we have spent on the
phone the past two nights is like what high schoolers do. I mean
seriously, who talks on the phone for 5 hours!?!? I did! When I was
16 I would do that all the time! I guess I can't complain though,
this guy is pretty cool and easy to talk to. You know me, can't get
too caught up in it. I want to but if you have read this over the
past few months, it tends to not go anywhere. Maybe I'll be wrong
this time. He is sweet and funny and easy to talk to (obviously) and
cute and has tattoos and knows about cars and has a motorcycle and has
a good job and is the same age as me and didn't flinch when I said I
have a son and and and....ahem, sorry, I got a little carried away!

So we'll see....I think I'm going to go pass out now.